Cinema Psycho

"The missiles are flying, gentlemen! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" – The Dead Zone

The Annual Harvey Weinstein Ass-Kissing Party, aka The Oscars

Posted by CinemaPsycho on February 27, 2012

You know, I was all prepared to write a long rant about last night’s Oscars, but I realize now that I really don’t care enough to get worked up about it. Does it really matter? Every year Harvey Weinstein picks some film to push on the Academy, and every year they buy into it, whether the film is worthy or not. That’s basically what it’s become now. I really believe that most of the voters are thinking, “you know what, might as well vote for The Artist, because Harvey Weinstein is behind it and it’s going to win anyway.” Might as well jump on the bandwagon. I don’t even hate The Artist; I thought it was a perfectly decent gimmick comedy, and that’s about all. It’s like giving an Oscar to Mel Brooks for Silent Movie. I think the director and cast are very talented people, and I have nothing but respect for them (and seriously, check out their OSS 117 spy-movie parodies; they’re hysterical). But where Scorsese used modern technology to make Hugo an immersive cinematic experience, The Artist is the visual equivalent of an old RCA Victrola. Yes, let’s go backwards rather than forwards, that’s always a great idea. Let’s celebrate the balls it must have taken to make a film without color and sound! Give me a break.

So let me just ask you this simple question: how many of last night’s winners actually deserved it? Does anybody really think The Artist is the Best Film of 2011? Does anyone really believe that Michel Haznavicious is a better director than Scorsese, Spielberg, Allen and Malick? Does anyone really believe that Jean Dujardin is a better actor than Demain Bichir, George Clooney, Gary Oldman and Brad Pitt, or that he even gave a better performance than any of theirs? Did anyone on Earth even like The Iron Lady?? If you can answer “yes” to any of those questions without laughing, then you must know something I clearly don’t.

Honestly, what a giant fucking joke the Oscars has become. I have to wonder if Harvey Weinstein puts something on his ass to make it taste like candy, because the Academy seems to love kissing it every year.

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My Top 10 Films of 2011

Posted by CinemaPsycho on February 11, 2012

OK, here we go with the list of my favorite films of the past year. If you haven’t read the pre-ramble I posted a couple of weeks ago, please read that first, then come back. Here we go:

10) The Muppets - this was the year’s biggest surprise for me, as I wasn’t even that psyched to see it and only wound up doing so because another movie was sold out. Director James Bobin and writers Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) have concocted a rather genius story in which the Muppets have been gone for 30 years (in reality, it’s been nowhere near that long) and have to reunite to save their old studio from being torn down. It’s a road movie, a “let’s get the band back together” movie and a musical comedy (imagine The Blues Brothers with felt) and all of it just works. Hilariously funny (I love the randomness of “80′s Robot”), sweet, sad and nostalgic in all the right ways, with a human cast that is totally game (especially Segel and Amy Adams). Even if you’re not a huge Muppet fan (I only have vague memories of watching The Muppet Show as a kid), it still works because the Muppets are a stand-in for our lost innocence. If you don’t tear up at least a little by the end of this, you truly have no heart. If parts of it seem a little awkward (Chris Cooper’s rap number, for instance – yikes), that somehow makes it all the more endearing. The Muppets is a movie of wide-eyed innocence, hope and dreams, and maybe we need that now more than ever. No wonder Fox News hates it. (Theatrical; on DVD March 20)

9) Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - and now for something completely different, this low-budget horror-comedy is one of the few that completely nails its targets and manages to be a hilarious experience in its own right. A wickedly funny satire of “survival horror” films (a subgenre which I’ve grown really tired of myself), Tucker & Dale gleefully destroys horror-movie stereotypes while still providing the splatter modern horror fans demand. Director/co-writer Eli Craig is a talent to watch, while Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine are fantastic as the kind-hearted, bewildered title characters. One hopes to see them in more crazy adventures. In the meantime, I don’t think I’ll ever watch another “redneck horror” movie without thinking of Tucker & Dale. (Netflix streaming; also on DVD) (limited theatrical release 9/30/11)

8) Rubber - I can’t really explain writer-director Quentin Dupieux’s crazy movie or its presence on this list, except that it made me laugh myself silly more than any other film this year. An absurdist comedy about a homicidal tire with psychic powers whose every move is watched and criticized by an “audience” of random people (including 80′s B-movie icon Wings Hauser!), Rubber is either a bizarre satire of plot-driven cinema or a nutty excuse for utter weirdness. Either way, it’s damn funny stuff. We’re told at the beginning that there is “No Reason” for any of it, so anyone looking for deep meaning is just going to be puzzled. It either makes you laugh or it doesn’t, and it made me laugh quite a bit. As always, your mileage may vary. So to speak. (Netflix streaming; also on DVD) (limited theatrical release 4/1/11)

7) Stake Land - extremely impressive vampire horror film from director/co-writer Jim Mickle (Mulberry Street), who manages to create a convincing post-apocalyptic America with a relatively low budget. About as far away from Twilight as you can possibly get, this is dark stuff in which the vamps are feral beasts with a thirst for human blood (you know, vampires). There’s not much humor to be found here, and there’s a serious anti-Christian streak running through it (the villains are not just vampires but a group of religious-fanatic humans who believe the vamps are “doing God’s work”), so if that bothers you, consider yourself warned. But for this particular agnostic, this is the movie Red State should’ve been. At a time when the horror scene is full of remakes and sequels, original, well-made horror films like this are worth supporting. According to IMDb, this excellent piece of work was only shown on 5 screens total, with its opening weekend only showing on 1 screen. That’s both sad and ridiculous, but a lot of quality genre films don’t even get that much. (DVD) (limited theatrical release 4/29/11)

6) X-Men: First Class - yep, it’s a big blockbuster superhero movie and a prequel, and it was one of my favorite films of the year, one of only 2 films on this list that I saw twice. I thought director/co-writer Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass) and the excellent cast really pulled it off. First Class is surprisingly fun in the style of 60s-era Bond films, as well as a solid and convincing prequel to Bryan Singer’s X-Men movies (Ratner’s abomination of a third film doesn’t exist in my dojo). Kevin Bacon’s Sebastian Shaw is easily my favorite villain of the year, and there’s a terrific mix of fascinating characters here that I hope will be further explored in future films. I know this film has its share of haters, but I can’t imagine what more they could have possibly wanted from this. For once, Fox did something right, and I say let’s give them credit for it or they may not do it again. (twice theatrically; now on DVD)

5) A Better Life - I can’t imagine anyone hating director Chris Weitz’s sensitive, vivid film about a Mexican immigrant trying to provide for his son, but I’m sure some people will find a way. At a time when empathy seems to be a dirty word, we need more films like this; whatever happened to quality dramas about social issues? They seem to be few and far between these days. Borrowing a bit from The Bicycle Thief, A Better Life is a simple story about a decent man who loves his son, set in the real world. When’s the last time we had a movie like that released by a major studio? I can’t remember. Weitz thankfully doesn’t seem interested in political agendas or any of that; he’s simply showing us a chapter in the lives of two human beings and the world they live in. How that affects your point of view is up to you. Demain Bichir and Jose Julian are equally impressive as the father who wants his son to have more than he does, and the son who is just beginning to realize how much his father has sacrificed for him. If Bichir’s Oscar nomination motivates more people to see this film, I’m all for that; regardless, he’s absolutely worthy of the nod based on his powerful work here. Needless to say, if you hate minorities, immigrants and/or poor people, you’re probably going to hate this film, but maybe (just maybe) it will open your eyes to the reality of the situation. Weitz apparently used his cache with Summit from having directed the second Twilight movie to get this film made, and to that I say, very well done, sir. (DVD) (limited release 6/24/11)

4) Drive - yes, the film that’s on everyone else’s list is also on mine, and rightfully so. Nicolas Winding Refn’s powerhouse crime thriller was one of the best shock to the systems of the year, a potent reminder of how good a simple genre movie can be with the right director and cast involved. You can dismiss it as warmed-over 80′s Michael Mann if you want, or you can let yourself get sucked into its rhythms and appreciate the twisty plot and fine performances. Ryan Gosling was the year’s coolest hero as the expert stunt driver/wheelman who gets dragged into a major clusterfuck due to his crush on a neighbor (perfectly understandable, given that she’s played by the luminous Carey Mulligan). As fantastic as Albert Brooks is here as the local crime lord (who would have thought?), I was also impressed by Bryan Cranston, Ron Perlman and Christina Hendricks. For all its modern trappings (and excellent soundtrack), Drive is basically an old-fashioned noir, and a damn fine one at that. It’s one of those films you can’t help but enjoy the hell out of, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t. (theatrical; now on DVD)

3) MIdnight in Paris - I know some people wish Woody Allen would just hang it up, and I think those people are just dead wrong. The proof is that he occasionally offers up a near-masterpiece like this one, a lush romantic comedy in which the object of desire is the city of Paris itself and all its charms. There’s a bit of time-travel involved as well as a wicked satire of nostalgia and those who wallow in it without realizing what the present offers. It helps a little if you know a bit about the city and famous writers and artists who lived there (Woody doesn’t wait for you to catch up), but it’s not an absolute requirement to understand the main character’s dilemma. Owen Wilson makes a surprisingly effective Woody stand-in, while Marion Cotillard is just as seductive as the city itself. And you have to love Adrien Brody as Picasso! Come on! I was surprised how well this did at the boxoffice (have we finally forgiven the Woodman?), but even if it made no money at all, Midnight in Paris would still be one of Woody’s best in recent years. (theatrical; now on DVD)

2) Insidious - I’ve already written at length about my admiration for James Wan’s horror flick (check the Archives under May 2011; holy crap, there are 180 comments! I didn’t realize that! Thanks for posting everyone! Well, except that one guy. He’s an idiot). I just wanted to reiterate that it is still one of the most exhilarating experiences I had at the movies last year. I haven’t watched it again since, but I want to do so soon. Whatever you think the ending means, the important thing is that the movie works like a motherfucker on your nerves. If you’re the kind of person who thinks a movie has to have blood and guts to be “True Horror”, then obviously you’re not going to like it. But if you’re willing to let it work on you (especially in a dark theater), then insidious is the scare-fest of the year. There’s now a sequel in the works, and I look forward to it. I just hope it doesn’t suck. That would be truly insidious. (theatrical; now on DVD and Netflix streaming)

And my favorite movie of the year is… (drumroll please)

1) Hugo - Martin Scorsese’s love letter to cinema. If I even have to explain why this is my favorite film of the year, then you either didn’t see it or didn’t understand it. I saw it twice in 3D and loved it equally both times. I could immerse myself in that experience over and over again without getting tired of it. Far more than a simple “family film” could ever be, Hugo is Scorsese at his finest, the kind of film I never really thought he would make but has proved himself more than capable of it. I don’t know what else to say, except that I loved this film and I love everything about it. There are no words adequate enough to properly cover how great this movie is. So I’ll just say, “Best Film I Saw Last Year”, and that should do it. What else is there to say? (twice theatrically; on DVD Feb. 28)

hugo_movie_photo_2.jpg

So that about does it. The 10 films that I loved the most from 2011. If there’s a title or two you haven’t seen on this list, I encourage you to seek them out and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. You can post your own lists in the Comments section if you like, as well as any feedback you want to give. Unless you want to call me a “fuckin’ pussy” for being scared by insidious; that’s already been done. No need for redundancy here. Hope you enjoyed the list, and I look forward to all the films of 2012. Talk to you later.

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The 2011 Pre-Ramble: The Year of Nostalgia and Evil Prom Queens

Posted by CinemaPsycho on January 29, 2012

Greetings and salutations everyone! I know it’s been awhile. I’ve been meaning to post more often, but with the busyness of the holidays, getting sick over said holidays and trying to get through a ton of films for my Top 10 list, I just haven’t been able to make the time. But I’m back now and making up for lost time with an extra-long post. Awesome, right? So let’s get rambling.

For the uninitiated, this is not my Top 10 list. That will be coming in a couple of weeks. I’m still in the process of catching up on all the films from the past year that might possibly make the list. Given that I live in the middle of nowhere (or the outskirts of nowhere, as I like to call it), I don’t always get to see the best films theatrically. You know, like most of America. So during the month of January I make as much of an effort as I can to catch up via DVD, streaming and theatrical screenings when possible. Obviously I can’t see everything, and I don’t claim to. Some films that I want to see just don’t get released on disc and/or streaming in time, but I don’t want to wait until freaking May to make my list. I do not consider this my fault. If you want people to see your films, and you have the means to do so, get them out there. Give audiences the chance to see them. I’ve never understood this idea that the best films need to be “held back” from general audiences. This is the only reason I really care about the Oscars at this point: Oscar nominations mean expanded releases for films I most likely wouldn’t get to see theatrically. And when that happens, I take full advantage of it. I will not be listing the films I didn’t get to see this year, but if you’re looking for the new Cronenberg, Almodovar, Polanski or von Trier films, let’s just say they will be absent and leave it at that.

On the other hand, I do consider my list to be more representative of the films that people actually have the chance to see than the lists of most critics. If I got to see it, that generally means it’s available for you to see as well. And for me, that’s what making a Top 10 list is all about: recommending the best films (in my opinion, of course) to my readers. It’s not about my ego or how special I am that I got to see films that you didn’t. That’s why it drives me nuts when critics put films on their list that weren’t released that year. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: if a film didn’t get some kind of theatrical release in the past year, it doesn’t qualify. A film that no regular ticket-buying audience gets to see before 2012 does not count as a 2011 film. Why is that difficult to understand? Film festivals do not count, as not everyone has access to them. Those are early screenings that select audiences were privileged enough to see. They are not theatrical releases. Now, if you want to make a list called “The Best Films I Saw at Film Festivals This Year”, have at it. But don’t count them as 2011 films. You don’t see book critics or music critics getting early copies of things that won’t come out until 2012 and calling them the best works of 2011, do you? Of course not. I really shouldn’t have to explain this, but I feel it does a disservice to the readers when you make a list of The Best/Your Favorite Films of the Year and they can’t see half of them yet. That doesn’t even make sense. It seems like certain critics live in this bubble where they think that film festivals and critics’ screenings are the only way films are seen. They’re out of touch with regular audiences and don’t even pay attention to what’s actually getting released and when. It’s horse shit, and it’s insulting to the readers. When I see a critic put films on their list that haven’t been released yet, it immediately invalidates that list for me. Can’t take it seriously. I have no respect for it, and you shouldn’t either. The whole point of making this list is to encourage you to make an effort to see these films now. It’s me saying, “these films really impressed me this past year, and I think you should check them out.” Whether you do or not is up to you, of course, but that’s the intention. It’s not about the critic; it’s about connecting the films we love with the readers who might not be aware of them. If a critic doesn’t do that, they’re not doing their job.

As usual, I will not be making a Worst of the Year list, as I generally try to avoid films I think I’m going to dislike. You won’t see me make a list of awful rom-coms or Adam Sandler movies, because I don’t spend my time and money watching that stuff. There’s so much out there that’s actually worth watching and giving a chance, why waste your time on crap you know you’re going to hate? There were a few films that disappointed me this year, sure. I thought Sucker Punch was ridiculous, an insane mix of CGI overkill, leather fetish and misguided feminism (“shame on you for ogling these scantily clad young women that… we’re showing you”), but at least it was an ambitious failure. I’ll give it that. I actually saw Creature theatrically (yes, I’m the one), but my expectations were pretty low going in, and they were met. It was exactly what I expected it to be, and on that level I thought it was OK. I wouldn’t recommend it or anything, but it is what it is. I thought The Thing prequel was interesting for about 15 minutes or so, until it turned into utter garbage. But at least it wasn’t a damn remake. Hey, if Carpenter doesn’t care, why should we? I didn’t see Atlas Shrugged, Green Lantern, Battle: Los Angeles, Straw Dogs, Apollo 18, The Sitter or The Three Musketeers, so I can’t comment on any of those. Nor would I particularly want to.

No, my pick for Worst Film of the Year is actually a film I saw on DVD just last night, and I wanted so badly to rip the disc out of the player and smash it to pieces (but I rented it from Netflix, so bad idea): a worthless piece of pointless shit called Bellflower. Jesus Christ, did I hate that movie. I’m truly amazed that it actually got some good notices from critics, much less an actual theatrical release, because there is literally no reason to ever see this film. I was expecting some kind of apocalypse film based on the reviews. What I got instead was an unwatchable, horribly written and acted movie about a pair of obnoxious, destructive, alcoholic assholes and their stupid whorish girlfriends. I honestly could not have given less of a fuck about these people, and viewing their idiotic antics for 107 minutes was pure torture. Seriously, if you actually see yourself in any of these characters, get professional help. Watching this movie made me never want to see Mad Max again because these morons worship it, and I hated them that much. The “mind-fuck” aspect of the movie doesn’t work at all (because you would have to actually care about what’s happening on screen), and shooting the entire thing like an old episode of Starsky & Hutch doesn’t make it any more interesting to watch. This movie is so bad that I actually hate the people who made it, and I hate myself for not hitting the Eject button after the first 5 minutes. How they managed to con some intelligent people into thinking this was a legitimate work of art, I don’t even know. Christ, even A Serbian Film had a fucking point. This isn’t disturbing, it isn’t fascinating and it isn’t good. It’s just stupid, hateful, pointless, worthless shit, and there is no reason for it to be made or viewed. But go ahead if you want, and don’t say I didn’t warn you. If anyone ever encounters writer/director Evan Glodell, please feel free to punch him in the fucking face. He’d probably admire you for it.

Anyway, back to 2011. It seems like a lot of the best films of the year dealt with nostalgia in some way. Some embraced it, some criticized it and some just accepted it as a fact of life, but the theme was present throughout. Maybe it’s something in the zeitgeist, maybe people are just in the mood to reminisce about what they perceive as “better times”. I’m not exactly sure. I only know it’s there, in films ranging from Midnight in Paris to The Muppets. I’ve never really understood why people are so fixated on the past, which is usually viewed with rose-colored glasses; you know, when you’re 10 years old, everything seems cool and awesome. Because you’re 10 years old. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t particularly feel like the past was so much better than the present. Politics was fucked up back then too – we just didn’t pay attention because we were kids. People were pretty much the same, they just had different clothes and hairstyles. There were good and bad movies, music and TV shows then, just as there are now. We have more advanced technology now, so the good stuff is more available to us, and that’s a good thing. You don’t have to watch or listen to crap just because it’s there, even though so many people seem to choose to do so. People act like the past was all brilliance and there was no disposable garbage like there is now, to which I say, remember the disco era? Yeah. I do. It wasn’t all Zeppelin and punk rock back then. Take off the rose-colored glasses and enjoy the good stuff that’s out there now. And that’s my lesson for the day.

Last year was also the year of the Evil Prom Queens. What, you ask? You mean last year wasn’t the year that Bridesmaids showed us women could be funny too? Don’t get me started on that again. But no, 2011 was the year that Hollywood finally showed us that Pretty Women are just as fucked up as anyone else. Which is something every man knows, but mainstream film has long ignored. For some bizarre reason, in Hollywood the rule has long been that the prettier they are, the sweeter and kinder they are. Come on, we all know that shit isn’t true. Call me a misogynist if you want, but I think women know this to be the case as well: the hotter they are on the outside, the crazier they are on the inside. Whether it was Cameron Diaz manipulating the public school system to achieve her own selfish, superficial ends in Bad Teacher, Jennifer Aniston redefining sexual harassment in the workplace in Horrible Bosses or Charlize Theron trying to steal her high-school boyfriend away from his happy marriage in Young Adult, 2011 showed us that the Evil Prom Queens will not be denied. And hey, I don’t have a problem with that. These chicks are funny as hell and they come off like real people for a change. For once these actresses get to play something besides romantic-comedy princesses – so why argue? It’s time for hot women to embrace the weird, wild and crazy inside each of them. I think we’ll all be better off in the long run. You can keep your Melissa McCarthy – for my money these three were the kick-ass rule-breaking ladies of the year.

So that’s my view of 2011 in a nutshell. Feel free to agree or disagree. As always, my Top 10 list won’t be exactly like anyone else’s. There will be some mainstream films, some indie and/or foreign films you may or may not know about, and the notable absence of films that made everyone else’s list. This is to be encouraged, in my view. Just because a film didn’t make it to the list doesn’t necessarily mean I hated it – just that maybe I didn’t love it as much as others did. There will be no “runners-up”, no also-rans or ties. Just the 10 films that kicked my ass most this year. Each title will have a (hopefully) short paragraph explaining why it’s on the list, as well as whether I saw it theatrically or on DVD or streaming (to make it easier to seek it out yourselves). I hope the list will provoke discussion as well as encourage you to check out a film or two that you might not have bothered with otherwise. And this should go without saying, but the list is my personal opinion and should be taken as such. Unlike so many on the internet, I do not present my opinions as being fact, or even FACT!!! You don’t have to agree with my picks, and in fact I encourage you to make your own. Post them in the Comments section if you like. Who knows, maybe I’ll check out a film that you recommend! I would like that actually. I’m always looking for recommendations, and the more obscure the better.

That about covers it for now. I’ve still got lots of films to watch and at this point I’m not even sure where most of my current favorites will land. But come back in a couple of weeks and check out the list. Thanks for reading!

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No More Sweaters: How to Shop For the Film Geek In Your Life

Posted by CinemaPsycho on December 4, 2011

Before I begin, let me just say that I use the term “film geek” with affection, not as an insult or generUnknown.jpegalization. As far as I’m concerned, everyone’s a geek in one way or another. I consider sports fans to be “sports geeks”, car guys to be “car geeks”, etc. I don’t really see the difference between obsessing over one thing and obsessing over another thing – the only difference is that some obsessions are more socially acceptable than others. So when I use the term “film geek”, I’m absolutely including myself in that category, and proudly so. I think film is a perfectly legitimate subject to be interested in (certainly more so than a lot of other things out there), and should be acknowledged as such. I don’t mean it as a slight in any way, and I’m aware that there are different types of film geeks out there. If I generalize here, it’s more for expedience than anything else. I’m directing a lot of this at the non-geeks, the “normals” as I call them, so some generalization is necessary. Let’s not make an issue out of it, OK?

I don’t know how many of us have this problem, but I’m willing to bet that most of us have at least one friend, relative, significant other, etc. who just don’t know what to buy us for Christmas. This is because they’re not film geeks themselves, don’t know our interests or tastes, and simply aren’t motivated to find out. I personally have relatives who give me sweaters and gift cards every year, without fail. Even though I drop hints here and there from Thanksgiving on, it doesn’t seem to register. Now, for some people a sweater might be a perfectly adequate gift, but I don’t like sweaters and I don’t wear them. So they’re basically giving me something I don’t want and will never use. Gift cards technically get the job done, I suppose, but to me they deliver the message, “I don’t know you or your tastes well enough to get you an actual present.” I honestly feel that the whole point of giving presents is to give someone something they would actually want, but might never actually buy for themselves. There’s nothing like tearing the gift wrap off of a present and actually getting something you really like and appreciate. Just as you wouldn’t get a rock fan a Black Eyed Peas CD (one would hope), or a sports fan a book of poetry, you should give the film geek you know something specific to their tastes and interests. Otherwise, what’s the point?

So what I intend to do here is to give the “normals” a few general tips on how to shop for the film geek they know and love. These tips will seem obvious to us fellow cinephiles, but I assure you that the normals have no idea about any of this. This is not a gift guide, I’m not going to tell anyone exactly what to buy. I just want to encourage people to make a little effort and give them some general hints to help them do so. So feel free to share this with the normals you know who have trouble buying gifts for you, if you think they wouldn’t be offended. I just don’t want any more damn sweaters, and I’m sure a lot of us feel the same way. Let’s get started:

Obviously, the best gift to buy a film geek would be a movie. While it may seem too obvious to some, this is not the worst way to go. Whether you shop online or in brick-and-mortar stores (yes, some people still do that), buying a movie is a pretty simple thing to do if you know what you’re looking for and how much you’re willing to spend. So here are some tips in that direction:

- First and foremost, be format-specific. If the person has a Blu-Ray player, they’re not going to want a standard DVD. Conversely, if the person uses a standard DVD player, they’re not going to have much use for a Blu-Ray disc except maybe as a tiny frisbee or a drink coaster. While Blu-Ray is the hot thing in home video now, many people can’t afford to buy an HDTV and upgrade their systems, so you might be surprised how many of us still use standard DVDs.

- Make an effort to find out what directors and genres they like, and try to get a sense of what they already own. This may not seem easy, but if there’s anything film geeks love talking about, it’s movies. If a person is into horror, sci-fi and/or action films, they’re probably not going to want a copy of Steel Magnolias. But if they prefer comedies and animated films, they might not appreciate Hostel Part II. Use common sense when it comes to this aspect.

- Try not to go for the most obvious choices. This may be difficult but it is crucial, and a little bit of online research might be necessary. For example, if the person is a big Hitchcock fan (and who isn’t), they probably already own the major staples like Psycho, Rear Window, Vertigo, North by Northwest, The Birds, Strangers on a Train, etc. So try something like To Catch a Thief, Dial M for Murder or The Trouble with Harry. If they already own those, go for something even older like Saboteur or Lifeboat. It might take a little extra effort, but I guarantee you they’ll appreciate it. This goes for pretty much every major director with a long-running career. A Coppola fan probably owns the Godfather films and Apocalypse Now, but they might not yet own The Conversation. If they do, at least they’ll know you took a decent shot.

- If you’re willing to spend a little bit, a nice box set is always welcome. There are plenty of them out there, and many are specific to directors and actors. Even if they already own one or two of the films, there’s a good chance they don’t own all of them. If you want to go cheaper, a good double-feature disc is nice too. Especially if the person loves a specific genre like film noir or gangster films or Westerns, you can usually find something to fit the bill there. The more extras on the disc(s), the better.

- Don’t be afraid to go obscure. Just because you haven’t heard of something, that doesn’t mean a film-obsessive person hasn’t. Most of us love discovering some obscure flick we’ve never gotten around to yet, or rediscovering a film we haven’t seen in years. Check out the Warner Archives website or Amazon’s MGM On Demand section for some choice obscure flicks. If they know you ordered something specifically for them that’s not in general release, that works in your favor because you made a special effort. Generally, they cost around $20 each, about what you would pay for a new release.

- Conversely, try to stay away from the cheap compilations you find in the $5 bins. The transfers are usually not good and they often border on unwatchable. If the covers look like crap, they’re probably crap on the inside. And the person you’re shopping for will know that you spent the bare minimum on them. You don’t want that. And don’t buy a Christmas movie just because it’s Christmas. That’s lame.

- If you just want to pick up a recent blockbuster and be done with it, that’s fine too. But make sure it’s something that is “geek-approved”, not just popular. This year, you can’t go too far wrong with films like X-Men: First Class, Captain America or Super 8. But whatever you do, for the love of God, don’t buy them a Transformers movie. This is extremely important. There are exceptions, but the majority of film geeks hate Transformers and Michael Bay with a passion. If you buy them that, they will not forgive you for it. Ever.

- If the person is not a film geek but a film snob (an entirely different species), then you’re really going to need to dig deep. The more obscure, foreign and old the better. Preferably black-and-white and/or silent. Keep an eye out for labels like Criterion and Kino International. If it looks like something a normal person wouldn’t watch on a bet, a film snob will love it. If it’s an 8-hour documentary on the Holocaust by a director whose name you can’t pronounce, it’s a sure thing. You don’t want to buy that person anything that even approaches mainstream Hollywood cinema.

- If the person already owns every movie ever made, you can’t go wrong with a book about their favorite film, director or genre. We love reading about movies almost as much as watching them. There are lots of great books out there about every subject imaginable in the world of film. If you don’t have any decent bookstores left in your area, just go online and search.

- Several film sites like AICN have their own Gift Guides up if you’re really hard up for ideas, and they have links to a lot of the latest discs, books and other film-related products, ranging from the relatively cheap to the extremely expensive. You don’t necessarily have to buy something from those pages, but they might give you some general shopping ideas.

So that about covers it. If anyone has any other shopping tips, feel free to post them in the Comments section. Now go and get your favorite film geek something he or she would love. I know they’ll appreciate it, just as I would. Then we can all have a Merry Christmas.

Posted in Psycho Therapy | Leave a Comment »

Confessions of a Film Geek: Slow Weekends and B-Plus Guilty Pleasures

Posted by CinemaPsycho on November 19, 2011

I’m one of those rare people who likes to go to the movies every weekend. It’s become a habit over the years that I don’t really want to break. Usually there is at least one film coming out that interests me enough to get my ass to the local cineplex at some point during the weekend. However, because I don’t live in a large city, my options are often limited to the wide releases, and some weekends there’s just nothing out there for me. This weekend is one of those. The only wide releases are Happy Feet 2 and the latest Twilight movie. The problem with that is, I’m well over the age of 14. I’ve seen pretty much everything I’ve wanted to see from previous weeks, so there’s literally nothing showing here that I want to see. I’d love to see the new Almodovar film, or the new von Trier, or even well-publicized indies like Martha Marcy May Marlene and Like Crazy. But I can’t, because none of them are showing anywhere near me. Nothing I can do about that. I could complain about it, of course, but I’m sure it would fall on deaf ears, so why bother? Right now I’m counting the days until Scorsese’s Hugo comes out (I know, it’s for kids, but for Marty I’ll make an exception), but at this particular moment, there’s simply nothing for me to see. I actually liked the first Happy Feet movie, but it’s not something I would go see on my own as an adult, and my nephew is a little too old now for dancing penguins. And I hate that they excluded Brittany Murphy (who was still alive when they recorded the voice work). As for Twilight, well, let’s not even go there. I’ve seen exactly 2 1/2 of those movies on DVD (don’t ask why), and that was more than enough for me. Just not my thing.

But I’m not complaining (too much). Slow weekends just come with the territory as a film geek. I’m always glad when people are motivated to go to the movies, even if I may not understand the appeal of the films they watch. I am completely baffled at the idea that people actually pay to see movies like Jack & Jill and New Year’s Eve, but if they didn’t, the whole industry would probably grind to a halt. For better or for worse, those movies keep the studios in business, and the income from them helps get the kinds of movies I like made. It would be great if those crowds were drawn to quality films, of course, but let’s be realistic. On the other hand, I as a paying customer don’t see the need to support films I don’t like either. So, on weekends like this one, I find myself steering clear of the movie theater. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll email my film-loving friends and ask if they’ve seen anything good, hoping for a recommendation. The answer is usually, “no, not really.” Before anyone suggests that I move to a larger city, let me inform you that most people I know who do live in big cities have neither the time nor the money to see all of the movies they want to see; they have more options, but less free time and spending money to use them. Why bother to move to a bigger pond if you can’t afford to do the things you want to do there? Seems like a pointless effort to me.

So, I deal with the slow weekends as just a fact of life. It’s certainly not like anyone has to go to the theater to see a movie these days; I’ve got about 400 movies on Netflix streaming that are just waiting for my attention, not to mention DVDs, movies I’ve recorded off of cable, etc. I’ve got plenty to watch. But I still value the theatrical experience, even if there seem to be fewer and fewer movies playing in wide release that are actually worth the effort. I hate to play the nostalgia card, but I remember when I was a kid, there were always movies playing that I wanted to see – slow weekends didn’t seem to exist. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten older, my tastes and interests have changed, etc. Or maybe the business has changed – instead of spending a little money on a lot of films, the studios are now spending a lot of money on a few films. And if those films don’t interest you, then you’re just shit out of luck.

This is kind of a weird segue, but I think there’s a certain lack of curiosity among moviegoers these days (and even hardcore movie geeks at times) that keeps them from seeing a lot of the more interesting films that come out, whether it’s theatrical or at home. Again, I remember when I was a kid, me and my friends would just watch movies, purely for the hell of it, and we almost didn’t even care what they were. We watched movies for the fun of watching movies, and if they were junk, then they were junk. If they were brilliant, so much the better. I’m not seeing a lot of that now. I see a lot of people playing the numbers game, limiting themselves only to films they’ve heard of or that are critically approved. Sites like Rotten Tomatoes only feed into that – I see people saying things like, “well, it only got a 47% rating, so it must not be worth watching.” The idea of watching a film simply because you’re interested in seeing it seems to have fallen by the wayside.

The problem with that is, movies aren’t math problems. They are not equations to be solved. They are experiences, and each one is personal. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t read critics or take their opinions seriously – of course they should. But what matters is how you respond to a film – and if you only watch films that are “approved” by some random percentage of know-it-alls, you’re denying yourself the experience of watching a film for yourself and forming your own opinion. I can’t count the number of times I’ve liked a film that critics hated, or hated a film that critics went nuts over. Let’s face it – a lot of critics like really boring shit that most people can’t even sit through without falling asleep. I’ve tried to watch those three-hour Iranian goat-herder films that critics like Roger Ebert and Jonathan Rosenbaum champion, and I’ve gotta tell you, I can’t fucking take it any more. I’d rather watch a marathon of Jerry Bruckheimer productions than a single minute of that nonsense. Look, if those films do something for you, great. Have at it. But I suspect that a lot of people watch them so they can consider themselves “highbrow” and “cultured”, and frankly I really don’t give a shit about that. So if you want to limit your cinematic experiences to that stuff, you’re entitled to do so. But sometimes a viewer just needs a really good, juicy hamburger.

On the other hand, I can’t see myself going too lowbrow either. I find it equally difficult to watch Troma films or micro-budget gross-out comedies; there’s a limit to the level of incompetence I’m willing to suffer through. As bored as I am by the extremely highbrow stuff, I’m equally disinterested in the likes of Jack & Jill and Bucky Larson. I can’t force myself to watch something that looks like it was made for frat-boy morons just on the off chance that there might be a decent laugh or two in it. I used to be able to do that, at least at home on cable, but there are only so many Rob Schneider movies one can sit through before one stars to hate oneself. I guess my taste is right in the middle, where I suspect most film fans are; not too high, not too low, but just right. And within that range, I’m willing to watch just about anything that even vaguely interests me.

Not that I don’t have my guilty pleasures, like everyone else. The difference being that I’m aware they are guilty pleasures, and I treat them as such. While I watch more than my share of indies, foreign films and documentaries, there are times when I crave a little junk food. A slice of cinematic pizza that I know is bad for me, but man, it tastes so good. So I’ll make a bit of a confession here, and hope none of the highbrows will hold it against me.

I’ve developed a serious taste for B-movies. Not even the “respectable” ones like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but the kind that generally go straight to video and don’t even get covered by most critics. I call these “B-plus movies”, as they often feature well-known actors who, for whatever reason, aren’t on the A-list anymore but still have to eat. This is not a new practice in the B-movie world, of course, but it seems to have flourished in the last dozen years or so. I’m talking about small films starring actors like Dennis Hopper (before he died, obviously), Harvey Keitel, Val Kilmer, Ray Liotta, Rutger Hauer, Lance Henriksen, Andy Garcia, Tom Berenger, Jeffrey Combs, Tony Todd, Bruce Campbell, MIchael Biehn, Ving Rhames, Eric Roberts, Danny Trejo, Ron Perlman, Christian Slater, Peter Weller, the list goes on. Michael Madsen used to be on this list, but the guy cranks out like a dozen of these movies a year now, and even I can’t keep up with that. Now, I don’t see every movie these guys put out (I’m not that crazy), but if one or more of them is in a film I’ve never heard of, it’s in a genre I like and it doesn’t look like a total piece of crap, I’m usually willing to give it a shot.

Needless to say, it’s simply not logical to think that a movie will be good just because a certain actor you like is in it (or even two or three actors you like). I realize that. And truthfully, most of these movies turn out to be not very good – some are even completely awful. Yes, most of these are paycheck jobs, and I recognize that going in. But I like these actors, and I enjoy watching them, so I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt more often than not. Even if the movies themselves are bad, usually these actors are good in them, so that’s something. And every once in a while, you find a real gem in that pile and that almost makes it all worth it. So yes, I’ve watched terrible movies like Streets of Blood (police corruption is a good thing, kids!) and The Devil’s Tomb (Ron Perlman appears for 5 whole minutes on a computer screen!), but I’ve also seen some awesome B-movie gems like The Tournament (Ving Rhames, Robert Carlyle), which turned out to be surprisingly well-made and super fun. If I didn’t have that curiosity, I would’ve missed movies like that one. And that would suck for me!

I think part of the appeal of these films for me is that they remind me of a different time, a time in which a half-decent genre flick with a couple of names could actually play in theaters. Given that the B-plus movies are generally about 20 years behind the times (and I don’t mean that as an insult), they remind me of the way movies used to be made – before CGI, before Michael Bay-style editing, before the remake craze, before “tween” sensibilities took over everything. As difficult as it may be to believe now, there was a time when movies were just movies. They didn’t have to appeal to 12-year-olds or make $200 million to be considered a success. They just had to come out and make a decent profit. Now it seems like the video market is the only place to find genre films for adults for the most part, and the really good ones are few and far between. But who knows, that Val Kilmer movie might be a classic just waiting to be discovered… or not.

My point is, too many people let the critics and the culture decide what they watch instead of making an effort to find out for themselves. If you’re iffy about seeing a film, then sure, a negative review might dissuade you. That’s perfectly fine. But if you really want to see something, don’t let freakin’ Rotten Tomatoes stand in your way. For instance, last weekend I went to see Clint Eastwood’s J. Edgar, despite the fact that most of the reviews were so-so at best. And it turned out those reviews were mostly right. But I don’t regret going to see it – it’s a film that I was interested in, and I’m glad I had the experience for myself and formed my own opinion of it. That’s what it’s all about. The important thing is not what any critic thinks – the important thing is what you think. What’s your reaction to it? How was your experience with it? That’s what too many people are missing now – they’re denying themselves the chance to make up their own minds. That’s unfortunate. It’s ironic that at a time when people are voicing their opinions about films more than ever, they’re also perfectly willing to let others do their thinking for them.

Posted in Psycho Therapy | Leave a Comment »

 
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